Overlook Hotel or Bates Motel?
If you
had to choose, where would you want to spend a warm summer eve? At the
glorious, sprawling majesty that is the Overlook Hotel or at the quaint,
charming if slightly run-down Bates Motel. Either choice has its obvious
advantages and disadvantages, so let’s assess the options together.
Location
The
beautiful Overlook Hotel is slightly out of the way. Atop a mountain in the
deep country-side, the elegant and refined Overlook Hotel is a beautiful vacation
destination boasting picturesque views, an expansive hedge-maze and unbeatable
customer service. The grand ballroom is the perfect setting for your fanciest
parties and the evening soirees never disappoint. However, once the colder
months arrive, the Overlook Hotel is virtually unreachable. Additionally, most
portions of the hotel are closed off for the winter and the few remaining
employees are frequently distracted with personal issues.
The
Bates Motel is conveniently located just off of the main highway- it used to be
on the main highway but city planning moved the road causing the small motel
business to suffer a serious decline in guests. However, the motel stands rain
or shine- rain is emphasized- with its glowing sign, it is easy to spot on dark
nights full of torrential downpours. The young man operating the motel lives
just a stone’s throw away, in a large mansion on the hill behind the motel,
assuring that should you require anything during the night, you will be easily accommodated.
Advantage: The Bates Motel
Local Attractions and Entertainment
The
Overlook Hotel is rather isolated, but that will not stop you from having a
devilish good time on your stay. The historic hedge-maze offers a day’s worth
of entertainment- just don’t forget to bring a map! There is an arcade and
games’ room for the youngsters staying here, as well as plenty of space for
tricycle riding and indoor sports. Additionally, our main drawing rooms are
equipped with cable television for your viewing pleasure. Once evening hits,
the grand ballroom is lit up with glorious chandeliers and a delightful band
plays all your favourite classics. Our chef is a culinary master and the
ever-changing menu is sure to delight all palates. 
The Bates Motel is unfortunately underwhelming as far as entertainment is concerned. There is a truck stop not far down the road. However, their unusual hours and lackluster service make them a rather unfavourable choice. There are no televisions in the motel rooms, nor is there a chef on duty. If hard-pressed, the young Mr. Bates will make you a sandwich and awkwardly entertain you with details of his taxidermy hobby. However, he often seems distracted and distant- likely too focused on his duties at the motel to make time to entertain customers. There is an exceptionally deep swamp nearby, should you feel drawn to the water but I do not recommend swimming.
Advantage: The Overlook Hotel
Personal Risk
The
Overlook Hotel was built on a Native American burial site. It has a long
history of bloodshed and madness. There are an abundance of ghosts haunting the
premises- many of which may communicate with the living and are particularly
persuasive. While the ghosts themselves are unnerving and disturbing, they seem
unable to perpetrate violence by their own agency. They require a mortal vessel.
In addition to the supernatural risks, the hedge-maze is known to confuse and
disorient many adventurers and the frigid temperatures during the winter pose
an immediate threat. It is not recommended that you work at the Overlook Hotel,
as your employment there seems to intensify your chance of being the target of
persuasive ghosts or physical violence.
The
Bates Motel is a rather safe local. With the exception of one mortal murderer,
the Bates Motel seems a much sounder choice. There is ample parking just
outside your room (no dark walks from the lot to your door), the rooms are
equipped with ample lighting and the local police are quick to respond to any
sort of disturbance. Provided that you don’t let your guard down while you
shower or go trespassing into the Bates Mansion, you should survive the night.
Sweet dreams.
Advantage: The Bates Motel
... AND THE WINNER IS:
After
careful assessment, it would seem that the Bates Motel is the prime choice for
your weekend getaway. Pack your bags, load up the car and prepare for
adventure! There is always a vacancy at the Bates Motel. We are dying to see
you.
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